so. there is this photographer based in hamburg that i admire. he is one of those that set the high standards of wedding photography in germany. which is good and well needed.
i stumbled upon one of his blog posts the other day. he was looking for an intern for a few months. since the post was from june i commented and asked if it‘s still ongoing.
his reply was that he is still looking but since i am already working as a photographer in hamburg and having my own website i‘d be out of question.
wait. me? being a photographer? it somehow felt like a slap in the face. i still have a hard time calling myself a photographer. i‘d prefer it being a photographic memory maker. i take photos. wedding photos. whenever possible i avoid introducing myself as THE photographer. and everytime someone calls me a photographer i would like to turn around and check out if there is another person standing there. and if there isn‘t, like in most cases, i‘d love to hide.
i just don‘t feel like being one. don‘t get me wrong. this is absolutely what i want to do in life. and i know i can do this. it‘s just that i am self educated and there is so much more i need to learn. i need so much more practice. right now i don‘t see myself playing with the big guys. i am nervous for every shoot. scared to mess it up. afraid that people would think i have no clue of what i am doing. this internship would have been perfect. and besides, one should never stop learning no matter how long you have been in business. you live and learn.
i know that the day will come when i will introduce myself as THE photographer. with pride and confidence.
no thoughts